I want to share with you four recent stories and how their impact caused me to examine my beliefs and ethics around my work.
My client works in a bar. Recently one of the regular punters shouted in front of the whole bar ‘She looks 20 from behind, but just wait till she turns around, it’s a different story!’
I can only imagine how she felt. Relaying her story back, the lady went on to tell me she’s now booked to see a surgeon to discuss having a facelift.
This has made me sad, really sad! I could actually fill up whilst writing this.
I physically want to hunt this low life down and tell him, she’s not 20! She doesn’t want to be 20! She’s 45 and looks bloody amazing for it! This lady really is beautiful, both inside and out and at 45, in my opinion looks absolutely amazing. I just hope the surgeon sets her straight and sends her home.
When someone is happy, outgoing and confident, why do those who feel insecure, or have low self-esteem issues try to make someone else feel the same? The world would be a better place, if instead they could work on their own internal issues, before trying to hurt another. Still the power of his negative words affected her.
Then there’s the lady whose husband has had an affair with a woman who happened to be younger. This woman is stunningly beautiful. The affair should never question her beauty, but it does! It’s the first thing most women will question.
Lets think about it, film stars who are referred to in magazines as the most beautiful women in the world still get cheated on. Yet just like countless others, this lady is considering any procedures that may help her look younger and in her words ‘feel more confident’.
The young girls that approach me to have their lips enhanced, to gain lips like their celebrity idols. It was this very fact, that made me make the brave decision to take lips off my treatment menu. You see performing lip enhancements for this purpose, made me feel off on an energetic level and when I perform my work I have to completely feel aligned and enjoy it.
All this got me thinking about the underlying drive that motivates us to seek out injectable forms of facial treatments, or more invasive options such as surgery. It also raised further questions for me around people’s vulnerabilities being exploited in the name of money.
It’s sad to say it’s not just the random man in the bar, the deceptive husband, or the obsession with celebrity culture, that have the ability to cause our insecurities. It can also be the very people we call on for help.
You may of come across the practitioner who sits you down and tells you what he or she sees wrong with your face, and how, with various treatments it could be improved. It’s this as a human being that makes me increasingly uncomfortable.
I recently attended a study day where all the models to be injected throughout the day were on stage and the audience had to comment on how they thought each model could be improved. I was literally squirming in my chair.
The first model in question was absolutely stunning, in her mid thirties. By the end of the session she’d been told she looked too masculine, that her face was too square and that she looked tired. The model was then asked to reveal what bothered her and guess what, it was her lips! I’m not just saying it; she was absolute perfection just way she was. I was actually envious of her looks.
Subsequently she went on to have multiple syringes of dermal filler injected to lengthen her face shape. I’m not entirely sure how she felt? Maybe she didn’t mind, but I sure as hell know I couldn’t sit on stage whilst three hundred people pointed out what they thought was wrong with my face! I wanted to find her afterwards and say are you ok? You really are prefect the way you are.
All these opinions are just that, Opinions! And when opinions are associated with profits it raises alarm bells.
We don’t all have the same taste. We look for different things in a partner, we like different foods, clothes, holiday destinations, the list is endless. I truly feel, if we harness our inner self-belief, we can be more resilient to the opinions of others and recognise them for what they are, not fact, or truth, just an opinion.
I’m embarrassed of my profession when I see images of women looking like a caricature of themselves and it’s these types of injectors that I have an issue with. Can they not see how their client is looking? Do they not have a responsibility to address what’s going on internally, if the person being injected can’t see it either and wants more?
It’s all these issues that in the past have led me to not fully embrace what I do, almost through fear of judgment. My biggest fear is making someone look done when the aim is to refresh.
You may be surprised to know I’m also the biggest advocate for all things natural. Yes It may sound somewhat contradictory. I’m massively into nutrition and exercise. I meditate, read tons of personal development and spiritual books and love alternative therapies.
You may begin to ask yourself, why then do I do the work I do?
Like other women who try to treat their bodies and minds well in a holistic manner, there are still aspects to the physical signs of ageing that I’d like to slow down. Signs that only physical treatments have the ability to achieve. Non surgical treatments can do this, but it doesn’t have to be done to excess. It’s imperative to me that any treatment is done in a lovely natural subtle way to just slow things slightly, making you look brighter, more fresh and polished.
So ultimately, this is why I do what I do, so I can help other women feel and look good for their age, removing the fear they may have of judgment or appearing overdone, assisting them to take a more all round approach in relation to their health, when it comes to looking the best version of themselves.
So what should you consider when making a decision on treatment?
Aside from medical qualifications and experience, ask yourself:
*Are you seeking help with your face or body for something that genuinely bothers you when you look in the mirror, not what bothers someone else about you.
*Has there been any outside influence that’s prompted you to consider treatment such as a recent comment or remark from someone, a relationship break up or a devastating loss that you feel having treatment may fill a void and make you feel happier.
* Have you been for a consultation to discuss treatment on a specific area and the injector has suggested treatments in areas that you’d never thought or considered a problem for you before?
Sometimes the injector may have to point out the reason why your problem area may have occurred and why treating other areas may treat your actual concern, but they should be able to explain this clearly.
If you’ve answered yes to any of these points then I would suggest some reflection time before proceeding with treatment.
On a final note, be kind to yourself. How we speak to ourselves actually affects us at a cellular level, so your negative self-talk could actually be giving you wrinkles and bad skin. If you don’t believe me then check out the book, The Hidden Messages in Water.
The book is about a Japanese scientist called Masaru Emoto, who performed experiments in the 1990’s on how words affect energy.
In his experiments, he pored pure water into vials, which under a microscope appears like snowflake ice crystals. He labelled 1 vial with negative words, such as hate and fear and the other vial with positive labels, such as I love you and peace.
When examined under the microscope, the negative labelled vials, showed grey misshapen clumps that were no longer crystallized and the positive labelled vials showed beautiful gleaming hexagonal crystals. He also did the same with jars of rice in a classroom over 30 days, with the same results. It really is astonishing.
So remember, don’t be so hard on yourself. Watch how you judge yourself, talk to yourself and speak of yourself daily. Try to begin talking to yourself as you would someone you love and care about. Keeping a gratitude journal can be a great start. Just simply writing down daily 5 things that you’re grateful for can help to shift your energy higher.
Also remember if anyone remarks or insults you, it’s more of a reflection on them and how they’re really feeling about themselves in their life. In the words of Taylor Swift ‘Haters Gonna’ Hate’ so shake it off 🙂